An ill-minted coin, a monocle
Chained to a tuxedo,
The moon croons to strip-clubs,
And late-night burrito
Shops, lovers on pedicab tours
Of the harbour. Placido
Domingo on the stereo with merlot
And fetuccine alfredo.
A night for werewolves, hairy
Men sporting speedos
And high heels on the club stroll,
“The Streets of Loredo”
On ukulele and pennywhistle
Down at the lido
Where a shot-wrecked Aeneas
Meets his new Dido.
Virgil, installed in a corner stall
Puts pen to graffito:
“Tally-ho! Damn the torpedoes!
Bandita hearts Bandito!”1
Oh, tragic pyred Queen of Tyre,
It’s Fido not Dido
That translates as faithful,2
The “Fido”-fido credo
On love Dante witnesses mid-canto
When Aeneas snubs Dido
In the second circle where she’s been unjustly gaoled
For her raging—3
Now Freaks, Irregulars, Defects, Oddities,
People of the low, low albedo,
Let this be your motto:
“Love” the word not the weirdo.
Freaks, Irregulars, Defects, Oddities
By Matt Rader
Learn more at The University of Toronto Representative Poetry Online
1Virgil’s friend Dante’s best Fido
Was “A Lady Loves Me” author Calvacanti, Guido.
2“Testicle,” to the Roman tongue, sounded out “orchido.”
3Spanish Guy Fawkes goes by Fawkes, Guido.